Maintenance for friendships

Taking care of ones tools is key to a craftsman’s effectiveness. Regular maintenance extends the life of vehicles and machinery. Proper diet and exercise helps the human body perform as designed.

Pat and I have made a hobby of visiting yard sales and rescuing stuff abandoned by others. Our latest acquisition is a nicely carved wood pedestal. We plan to use it as an end table, the all-important place in my study for my morning cup of coffee. The carved piece is not museum quality, but nice enough to catch our eye. We found it on the front yard of a home where an estate sale was being conducted. It will need several hours, or days, of restoration. It would have been so much better if the owners had taken care of my future table.

Relationships are that way. Give others enough time to keep lines of communication wide open, oiled with caring exchanges. To maintain friendships one must share life’s joys and sorrows, challenges and successes. A little time with friends and teammates, shared regularly, is like a coat of wax on a fine wood surface, a drop of oil in a moving joint, a honed edge on a cutting tool. Alas, we often become too busy to do simple things together and the edges of life are dulled. When friends are needed most, those who have been inattentive find themselves powerless, dull, unable to function correctly.

The spiritual disciplines of prayer, Word and witness are repetitively mentioned. Spending time with others, encouraging faith and sharing life too frequently falls into disrepair. Text messages and e-mail messages cannot communicate tone of voice, nuances of hurt and happiness. Rushed greetings can numb the edges of relationships as surely as dropped tools are dulled. Digital stuff is quickly shared and then, easily erased. To communicate real feelings and share ones heart nothing beats meeting with friends face-to-face. A handwritten note takes longer and usually touches more deeply.

My “new” old table will look great, but at the cost of hours of restoration. The second use will be better than the fate it would have had if it remained on the front lawn unprotected for another season or two. The original beauty will never be seen again. Someone neglected it. Friendships are best when well-maintained.