Hurts!

Hurt! The sound of the word arouses feelings which healthy people consciously avoid. Regardless of how feverishly we protect or insulate ourselves, hurt happens!

A mother recently told Pat and me about a call from her adult son who told her, "We’ll call you when we want you or need you." The message was received days after our friend took a month off from work. She had made arrangements for her other responsibilities and set her heart on taking care of her son’s new-born baby and her second grandchild. Then the phone call and then the "when we want you or need you" call came. Ouch! That hurts!

When one spends time in a visible leadership role, he is vulnerable and an easy target. Disgruntled people can be hurtful, often because they are clumsy or careless. Pat and I have been hurt. The most pain was experienced when our motives were challenged. Our intentions were twisted. Our character was questioned. Too often the pain was inflicted by someone with whom we have spent the most time or to whom we have given the most. The sense of rejection, deep-stinging hurt seems like a burning iron.

Being defensive and musing too long on the damage inflicted is dangerous. Forgiving, forgetting and trusting again is a healing balm. In our experience, those that hurt others are far fewer that those who heal. Reviewing the hurts and building defenses against future injuries tend to eliminate others who are genuine instruments gifted in restoring wholeness. Long ago I learned that forgiveness is a wonderfully liberating choice. Bitterness and anger drain creativity, and sever lines of communication between people, and from God Himself.

Hurts? Sure, everyone has known them. But nurturing wounds with coddling self-pity debilitates and controls ones outlook on life. When hurts have stung most deeply, felt like deep-to-the-bone gashes, the Spirit has reminded me that I am guilty of the very same behavior toward my heavenly Father. Brokenness reaches deep into my spirit as I remember that while I was still sinning Jesus died for me! (Romans 5:8) Hallelujah! I am free as I accept Jesus’ provision and offer the same toward those who hurt me.