Saying Goodbye

The quality of a friendship may be measured by how hard it is to say, "Goodbye!" Real friends enjoy one another in all sorts of circumstances. Friends share life, both the good times and the bad. Traditional marriage vows include, "in sickness and in health," and add "for richer or poorer." Pat and I have said goodbye to congregations after being warmly embraced by them for years. It’s hard!

Pat and I are saying goodbye more often now. We have reached that age when we are no longer children but a patriarch and matriarch. Children accumulate friends naturally, like snowballs rolling downhill. Elders observe as others slip away. W. Howard Roberson, the pastor emeritus of Highway Tabernacle in the early years of our tenure there said, "Most of my friends are on the other side. I don’t have many left here." Our friends are on our prayer list. They suffer from diseases and wrestle with life-limiting realities of aging. Pat and I share some of their symptoms. It is harder to say, "Goodbye!" than to romp through the energy-filled years.

The Apostle Paul expresses heart-felt affection for people in his letters. To the church at Philippi he wrote, "I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now."( Philippians 1:3-5) That church was rather trouble-free, but the churches at Rome, Corinth, Colosse and Thessalonika received Paul’s letters because of problems and errors. In good times and bad, Paul said, "I thank God for you," and assured, "I will be praying for you!" Paul reinforced an important truth, spiritual siblings, easy-to-get-along-with types and burr-in-the-saddle variety are God’s provision for us.

Even though Paul had not yet visited the church at Rome, he struggled with his goodbyes. His farewells absorb most of chapter 16. The Apostle recognized Priscilla and Aquila, the two that are most familiar to us on the list of names. But we know little of the others. A woman named Mary stands out in Paul’s affection because "she worked very hard for you."

Andronicus and Junias are "outstanding among the apostles." Apparently Paul met them in prison and they took the opportunity to teach Paul some of the skills of apostleship because he acknowledges "they were in Christ before I was." (Wouldn’t you like that fact on your resume? "I taught Paul how to be an apostle!")I have never met anyone who named their children Tryphena or Tryphosa! They were women who worked hard and Paul would miss them. We overlooked Rufus as a name for our son, but Jonathan would have been a namesake of one "chosen by the Lord." I think Paul was teaching us how to say "goodbye!"

Our brothers and sisters in the faith deserve notes of assurance, recognition for their contributions to the family of faith and promises of our prayer. Paul wrote Romans 16 under the same inspiration of the Spirit as chapters eight and 10 that are quoted so frequently. When I read verse 20 my faith for my friends leaps upward as I join in prayer and affirmation, "The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you." I believe my friends, siblings in the faith, deserve to hear those words as the Spirit speaks through me.

Pat and I have been saying a long goodbye to her father. Tomorrow, Lord willing, we travel to Indiana again. We have been watching him move away. He speaks about heaven. It may not be too long before he will arrive at the place for which he has been looking for a long, long time. It is hard to say goodbye, but we really believe "the God of peace will soon crush Satan under Roy Kolas’ feet." We are also confident that Paul’s prayer and blessing, "The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you," will become our experience.