Every year college alumni gather, mill about remembering “the good old days” and wondering how everyone else aged, but they did not. I will probably never attend a high school reunion because Cass Tech was a magnet school and out-of-class friendships were rare, and we never lived in Detroit following graduation. But, in November I plan to attend homecoming events at Central Bible College and continue conversations, some of which began in 1962. Some classmates have excelled in their vocation and their names are well known. Others are not so well know, but in addition to completing a wonderful body of work, have been our true friends.
Bob and Judy have led one church for over 40 years. Their body of work is quiet and thorough, and, unfortunately, rarely celebrated by their peers. Pat and I have observed their zeal for missions, a sensitivity to people others tend to look past, and a world class sense of humor. I actually read all of Bob’s e-mail – even puns which exhaust my supply of groans. While “shooting stars” zoom about on the horizons of our vocation, Bob and Judy have been the “Steady Eddies” who offer a sane, Biblical ministry to people in their community. Has anyone you know hosted and organized a food pantry for decades? Friends like Bob and Judy model and reinforce worthy values.
Other friends have come to us on other paths. We were introduced to Tony and Judy in the 90's. Tony is an accomplished businessman who has served on ministry boards, and patiently answered my endless questions about finance and real estate. I’ll never forget Tony drawing a diagram of a practical finance plan on the back of a restaurant place mat while we waited for our entrees. Not every home missionary has a financial guru on his team! Their time share in Hilton Head has been a retreat for us when Pat and I were exhausted. Without being aware, Tony can share with me, and Judy with Pat, a fresh perspective, or remind us of what we have allowed to slip from practice. Friends offer ballast!
Joe is better known than most of our other friends. For more than 30 years he has called at the right moment, asked the correct question, offered the wise counsel – often without knowing how much his life has influenced ours. To hear Joe say, “Hi, Otto! How are you doing?” Before his retirement his first statement was most often, “How can I help you?” Many times Joe simply allowed me to talk until I could see the proper direction to take. He, more than any other, has been the one the Lord has used to correct me, usually without knowing it. The contributions of friends like Joe are hard to catagorize, but their presence makes life better, much, much better.
In 1991 Pat and I were introduced to Ralph and Louise. They arrived in Newark, New Jersey having driven their Chevy Suburban loaded with tools, all the way from Flint, Michigan. Quiet, unassuming, and adept in construction skills, Ralph goes about his tasks without notice, unless you are working with him. (Ralph outworks men half his age!) Until 2009 Ralph and Louise helped with various projects. The tasks included installing a heating system and restrooms in Vailsburg Assembly of God; doing all the plumbing for 3½ bathrooms and kitchen in Highway Tabernacle’s renovated parsonage; replacing the heating system in Highway’s sanctuary; and then installing a new heating system and restrooms in Resurrection Life Church.
Much of the time we shared a home with Ralph and Louise and watched their unselfish service, impeccable character and very healthy sense of humor. I’ll always remember a moment when Ralph and I were riding together and I asked, “Can we talk real seriously for a minute?”
Ralph’s answer, “Have I done something wrong?”
My response was, “No, I just want to tell you how much you have taught me. You are veteran of World War Two, have reared a family, retired, and now give away your time, skills, and life in places like Newark and Philadelphia. You are teaching me how to grow older and how to never outgrow being unselfish.”
Ralph’s response is unforgettable, “Otto, I am only doing what I think the Lord wants me to do.”
For Ralph and Louise, giving more than four years of life, working in unheated buildings in winter, digging trenches, sweating pipes, slithering about in crawl spaces, climbing scaffolds more than 20 feet high (at age 80) is “no big deal!” It’s just what the Lord wants us to do! Friends like these balance between public and private. They urge all who observe away from pride and toward true humility. Advancing years and failing health prohibit trips for our friends, but telephone conversations are filled with laughter and recollection of great shared experiences.
All these friends I have mentioned, and there are many more, have been in our lives more than twenty years! A man with friends is rich!
If something happens to keep us from attending our college homecoming, we’ll be disappointed. But friendships will continue.
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down, his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)
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