Saint James shares a most important truth of practical theology. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” (1:2-3) Others may be able to happily clap their hands, sing lustily, and smile endlessly in the face of trials, but I have been severely challenged in this area. I know how to put on the “game face” for church gatherings, preach faith and confidence with a grin, and even pray with faith for others. But, when alone, dark doubts brood and the enemy of my soul has spoken eloquently, convincingly.
In 1988 we left Bethany Church a congregation we had loved and served for over ten years. The congregation was a tremendous support, a family, during our prime time parenting years. In 1988 all three of our children were teens. Candace was a freshman at Wheaton College. Jonathan was half way through high school, and Joanna was finishing junior high. It was not an easy time to make a major vocational change.
The congregation was gracious and generous, allowing us to live in the parsonage until we found our own home. At age 44, we had lived in parsonages for over twenty years and had never purchased our own home. We didn’t know how to start, but lumbered forward clumsily searching for a place near our church planting ministry assignment.
Our family will never forget walking through a suitable house in an ideal location. Since our budget limited, we offered the sellers what we could afford, approximately $50,000 less than the asking price. The sellers laughed! My confidence was fragile and I was devastated.
While driving away from that disappointing chapter in our house hunting saga, Jonathan asked, “Where will we live Dad?” I answered, “I don’t know.”
But, Dad, “I play basketball and I want to know where I’ll be going to school.”
Joanna added, “Dad, I have a lot of friends at Eisenhower, can’t we just stay where we are?”
I had to say, “No, I don’t think that will happen.”
I think I saw tears when I looked into their faces through the rear view mirror, and I think I heard muffled cries. Candace did her best with, “The Bible says that God will take care of us, doesn’t it?” It was a question more than a statement of faith. I needed help!
I turned toward Pat and saw tears filling her eyes. She was uncharacteristically shaken. Her faith had always been rock solid, but not today! I felt I was all alone. There was no joyful effusive hand-clapping joy in the car that gray, cold winter afternoon.
Our Father in heaven knows what we need before we ask. I knew that intellectually, but I just couldn’t see how it was working out practically. One evening soon after that dark afternoon I opened the newspaper to search the columns advertising houses in the classifieds. There, in black and white, was a house whose description satisfied our needs, a FISBO (for sale by owner). This is where the story sets the cadence for feet to dance, hands to clap, spirits to soar and faces to grin!
Pat and I reviewed the listing before calling. We both thought the newspaper had made a typographical error. The price was simply too low. When I called a telephone repairman answered. He said, “Just a minute, I’ll let you talk to the homeowner.” The owner assured me that the newspaper listing was accurate and welcomed us to look at the house – right then. The house had been listed for several days, but the phone line was broken and the sellers had received no calls until ours, just as the repairman finished his work..
The house was a filthy mess, but the “bones” were good. We noticed hardwood floors under pet soiled carpeting. Five bedrooms and two baths was more than we would have settled for a few days before. The location was excellent! And, the seller came down $2,500! I wrote a small check as an earnest money deposit.
It gets better! (Are you grinning yet?) In addition to our savings, the banker told us we needed an additional $25,000 for a down payment to qualify for the mortgage. Had I just thrown the earnest money away? We needed to double our savings.
When Pat and I arrived home, we told Candace, Jonathan and Joanna that we had bought a house. After the initial excitement, they told us to return a call from friends, members of Bethany Church. I was invited to their home the next morning. I initially refused because I was no longer their pastor. They agreed to speak only of personal matters, so I agree to visit.
The next morning I made my way to our friend’s home. I had only been there two or three times in ten years as they were faithful in church attendance and did not expect more. Their home was modest, smaller than the one I hoped to buy. They were retirees from factory jobs and lived frugally. They almost immediately asked, “Where will you live now that you will be a missionary?”
My reply, “I don’t know!”
They then asked, “Well, where do you want to live?”
I explained what happened the night before. In response, they said, “Well, then what is stopping you?”
How does one as proud and capable as me explain, “I need another $25,000 to qualify for a mortgage?” I tried mumbling, but they asked to me to speak up! I could hardly believe I was exposing how inadequate, helpless, vulnerable, and embarrassingly weak I was. Then it had all spilled out. I was at my most weak moment. The husband asked the wife, “Can you write a check or do we need to go to the bank?”
I left our friend’s home after an hour long visit, with a check for $25,000. They called it a gift, but Pat and I repaid them as quickly as we could.
From their home I went to our bank and spoke with the president who was familiar with our circumstances. “Mr. VanOstenbridge, I have a check here for $25,000. I believe I will now qualify for a mortgage.” I shared the details of the transaction, hired an attorney, and less than 30 days later, we moved into the first home we ever purchased.
Pat and I could never tell this story if it hadn’t been for the dark, dismal, faith-challenging days that brought us to the threshold of a life-changing, faith-building experience. It is easier to “consider it all joy” now that we know the outcomes. We know “what” we are to do but are still learning and perfecting the “how.”
Remember dear friends, “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.” (2 Corinthians 2:9)
thanks Pastor, we were in Bethany at that time. Might i add, i was disappointed that my pastor who i respected and loved to hear preach, was leaving us. boy was i far behind God's plans for you / Pat and the James family.
ReplyDeleteremember, you are both loved dearly...ernie